Wednesday, November 30, 2011

More Concern From Tara

So Tara is still concerned about me, or say her email to me says.

It's the same old story;

She wasn't planning on working late and was putting away files. She picked up my file and immediately had some kind of premonitory vision about me, and had to contact me as soon as possible so that I can fill in my request for a sensorial vision study and a ritual of ultimate protection.

If whatever she saw was that pressing and urgent, then she would've done the ritual voodoo stuff on my behalf without waiting for me to maybe fill in the request form. The lack of permission hasn't stopped her from doing so in the past ... plus she also has a file on me ... I don't know why though. I havn't actually used her pyschic services.

It's not like I'm going to object to getting some extra good karma sent my way ... especially if it's free good karma.

Tara then goes on with the same old fear mongering she always uses when she wants me to pay for some pyschic reading by indicating that I could become disgustingly rich if I pay for her to do her readings on me. If don't I miss out on becoming disgustingly rich.

Yeah, that old sales pitch. It hasn't worked in the past, and I don't foresee it working in the future ... but then, Tara is the pyschic not me.

But that little sales pitch does really lessen the impression that she's truly concerned about me ... which I'm sure she is: concerned about not getting my hard earned from me!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Ghosts in the House

So last night was pretty windy, which meant that there was all kinds of things going bang and thud in the dark.

At first these sounds didn't worry me too much: it's usual for an old, run down house to make sounds like that. Although it did occur to me that Charlotte and Horry might be adding to the noise as well. But since they're both so incompetent at the whole haunting thing, the presense of the ghosts last night didn't worry me.

That is until I heard Charlotte chuckle.

Suddenly Charlotte became a lot less incompetent and a whole lot more threatening. If she managed to chuckle in such a sinister way, who knows what else she's capable of.

My first instinct when I heard Charlotte's chuckle was to leap out of bed and barricade my door.

The only reason why I didn't was because it was too cold to actually get out of bed. Plus I'm sure that I would've drawn attention to myself with all of the noise I would've made barricading my door. Better to remain still and quiet and hope that Charlotte just passes by without doing anything undue.

And then it occurred to me that barricading my door against a ghost is a pretty futile act. It's not like that's going to stop a ghost from just drifting through my wall or door.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Stockland Wendouree Today

Stockland Wendouree was a place of magic and whimsy today ... at least it was for the less cynical and jaded part of the population. For the rest of us, that just meant a much larger crowd at Stockland ... which meant more people for me to hit up to try and make their houses more energy effecient.

Yes, that's right, Santa Claus was at Stockland Wendouree today!

I don't know if it's a Stockland Wendouree thing, or if this happens wherevere Sanata goes, but not only was Santa present with his elves (disappointingly he wasn't with his reindeer), but he also had (what I can only assume was) a flying angel.

Yes, there was an angel hovering around StockLand Wendouree, waving her wings around, distracting those of us who were trying to work ... although she did disappear pretty quickly after Santa Claus arrived (in a train). So maybe he did something to her or simply just scared her away.

There was also a face painting booth nearby. And until I walked by it on my lunch break, I had simply assumed that everyone who had told me about it were dirty rotten liars, which is probably why I was always told never assume anything. I didn't see a single face painted kid all day, except for the one who was getting his face done when I walked by.

Still, it's not like I didn't get to see my share of magical and whimsical creatures today;

I did see this being who looked like a boy, but had crazy triathlete legs but walked duck footed, sounded like a little old lady and was only about four and a half feet high.

Hmm, maybe whimsical isn't the right word to be used when describing the dwarf old kid.

Actually, now that I come to think of it, there was a large amount of duck footed people cruising around Stockland Wendouree today.

A lot more than usual!

Maybe there really was magical stuff happening at Stockland Wendouree today.

Maybe the duck footed people are linked to the lack of face painted kids despite the very popular face painting booth.

Too bad duck footed people aren't really thought of as whimsical, otherwise today could've been all about them instead of Santa Clause and the angel before him. No body cared about the elves once they had run out of lolly pops and were handing out lame as stickers instead.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

My Theory About Why So Much Drama Happens on Ramsay Street

Last night after watching Neighbours I couldn't help but wonder how so much drama happens on one street. No one street should have that much drama. Hell, no one street should have even half as much drama as Ramsay Street ... and Ramsay Street is only a small court with half a dozen houses!

So what could be the cause of all of the Ramsay Street drama?

My theory is that the street itself is some kind of dark magic hotspot that draws horrible people to it. That is why people like Paul Robinson and Izzy Hoyland are constantly moving there.

The street also seems to have the power to bring out the worse in people as can be seen with the Kennedy's and Scully's ... well actually, I can't say for sure if the street perverted the Kennedy's or if they were already like that when they moved onto Ramsay Street. But growing up there can't have been good for the Kennedy children.

Occassionally innocent people will move onto the street. But they quickly become victims of the street. Some of these victims will move away from the street, but most of the time the Innocent have come under the spell of the street and are unable to move away and slowly become perverted by it.

But it seems that Ramsay Street needs its share of blood and will go to great lengths to get it in the most dramatic way possible. Take for example the Bridget Parker and Ringo Brown. They were both hit by vehicles driven by someone on the street. That kind of thing may happen, but not twice in less than 10 years. The street was clearly working its dark magic when Bridget and Ringo got hit. And clearly just injuring Bridget wasn't enough for the street, which is why she later died after getting married.

It's the spirit of the street trying to pervert the inhabitants and spread fear and chaos though Australia.

Or maybe it's the ghost of the original Ramsay trying to kill everyone so that he once again has company ... although with the number of people who have died while living on the street you'd think that Ramsay would have more than enough company. Even if the company is just horrible, horrible people who have always been that way or have been turned by the street.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Tara Has to Help Me Make the Right Choice

It's been awhile since I wrote about Tara and her crazy messages. Mainly because she was starting to repeat herself and say the same thing.

It got boring.

I got bored.

But after reading the subject line of her latest email I couldn't resist having a looking at what she had to say.

I have to help you make the right choice, Emma.

Sounds kind of forbidding, right.

I mean, is she going to force me to make the "right choice" at the point of her pyschic sword?

Or is she going to invade my dreams Inception style and make me think that paying for her pyschic readings is a good idea and something that I should do asap?

That's a scary thought ... although if I seriously thought that this was a real threat, I'd be out getting lessons on how to protect myself from such an invasion in a flash.

But luckily I don't.

And it seems that to force me to make the "right choice" Tara only plans on using her words ... thus proving that she's really not a good pyschic, otherwise she'd know that her words won't force me to do anything.

Hell, you don't have to be a pyschic to realise that Tara's words aren't going to force me to do anything. If her words were really that powerful, then they would've already done their magic on me and I'd be a paying customer of Tara's.

Then there's the fact that Tara's words, these words that are supposed to force me to make the "right choice" are just the same old words that she has used in all of her previous emails to me.

That ain't gonna fly.

She really should've put in the effort and used different words this time around.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Old Ladies and Pink

I don't know if it's an old lady thing, or if it's just an old lady of Ballarat thing, but today at work about a quarter of the people I spoke to were little old ladies wearing pink ... and all of them had moustaches!

Ok, admittedly some of the other old ladies I spoke to also had moustaches.

But every single old lady wearing pink today had a moustache. A couple even had a very light beard.

That right there is reason enough to fear old age.

What woman wants to turn into a mustachioed, and quite possibly beard, woman? With all of the old age related ailments plaguing the elderly, the moustache and possible beard just seems a little much.

Just because a woman is old doesn't mean that she has lost her vanity!

You'd think that Mother Nature or God or whoever would know this ... and as nature can easily show us, vanity is a natural part of life for any animal.

But instead women get to look forward to turning into mustachioed, possibly bearded, scabby (a couple of the oldies I spoke to today had scabs) old ladies who will most likely always wear pink.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Last Night's Dream - Neighbours Special Edition

My family and I moved into a new house, and we were all doing our best to avoid the prying eyes of the neighbours by not leaving the house except to go out to the cool courtyard type part of the yard next to the house, which was completely hidden from snooping neighbours.

While I was playing a ball game with my brothers I suddenly recognised the house. It was the Kennedy's house!

I was one of the Kennedy's!

Worse I was Libby Kennedy.

Billy hit the ball out into the front yard, and all three of us daringly crept out to get it. Apparently it was only Karl and Susan had the issue about being seen by the neighbours.

Malcolm got the ball just as we were all called back inside by Karl.

A few years passed and I'm not really sure if we got along better with the rest of Ramsay st or not. But we were having a family lunch that only family could attend, by which I mean only blood relatives were allowed. No significant others, even if wedded, allowed.

There was some kind of arguement that resulted in Malcolm angrily storming out of the house. When it became apparent that he wasn't going to come back unless we went out and found him and talked to him, Karl, Billy and I all left immediately. Susan was left in charge of the house just in case he called.

We went straight to the shopping centre and split up, agreeing to meet up again at the train station on the other side. For some reason I ended up crossing the centre way faster than the other two and ended up at the train station before either of them. Figuring that I had nothing to lose by it, I jumped on the train with the thought that I might find Malcolm at the other shopping centre station.

There weren't any seats on the train so I was forced to sit on the stairs, since I wasn't brave enough to venture up there. The upstairs part of the trains are very dangerous and a place to avoid if possible. But sitting on the stairs did give me a very good view of part of the upstairs compartment. I could see Malcolm pacing between the chairs with a shotgun. Although no one else appeared worried about this, I was very worried and even feared for both our lives.

As soon as the train stopped at the other shopping centre station I raced off it and ran staright into Billy. I quickly told him about Malcolm being on the train with a gun and pointed him out on the platform. Except the man with the gun I pointed to wasn't Malcolm. He was someone who looked a lot like him. I crept a little closer to the armed man just to confirm that it wasn't Malcolm.

When I turned around again, I saw Billy and Malcolm hugging, and I very quickly joined them. It was then that I noticed the scrawny looking tiger at the jewellery booth. Even though it was securely on a lead I still wanted to move away from it. Malcom and Billy agreed and we started to move off.

It was at that moment that the tiger broke free from its handler and ran loose. I somehow got seperated from my brothers. I also somehow got cornered by the tiger, but I ran down the stairs into another jewellery shop. The shop assisstant wasn't happy about me hiding in her store if I wasn't going to buy anything. Then the tiger appeared and we both knew that we were gone as we cowered behind the counter, again the shop assisstant wasn't happy about me hiding there.

A shot rang out and the tiger dropped. I'm not sure if it was actually killed or just stunned, but I wasn't going to wait around to find out. I ran back up the stairs and started looking for Malcolm and Billy. Instead I found Steph who told me that they had already left for Ramsay st.

Back at Ramsay st, Steph and I were alarmed to see that the gate to the street was left open. No one ever left the gate open. For it to have been left open was a sign that something bad had happened. We both hurried down the dirt street to make sure that our families were alright.

My family, the Kennedy's, were safe and unhurt. So I went back out onto the street where Steph and Lyn were having a massive arguement. Apparently Lyn wasn't happy about Steph's choice of career (call girl). She was shouting something about how she (Steph), Flick and Rebecca were all wasting their lives and how they're not happy even if they currently think they are.

I was about to go back inside the house but Susan was in the way. She appeared to be in the middle of some kind of massive freak out and looked like she had wet her pants. I actually got the impression that the freak out was due to the pants wetting incident, which was being made worse by the freak out. I decided that it was best to leave her and let Karl help her. I went to close the Ramsay st gate.

As I was walking back to the house I saw Karl creeping out of the footy ground toilets and then back in again. A couple of seconds later he bolted out of them and across the footy oval. I simply assumed that he was cheating on Susan again and continued back to the house where I found Lyn in charge of what appeared to be a wicth hunting/lynch mob. They even had pitchforks and flaming torches!

Lyn asked me if I knew where Karl was. I didn't want to get involved in this witch hint and said that I didn't know. I walked into the kitchen and then suddenly changed my mind and told her and the mob what I had just seen at the footy oval. Susan looked devastated and burst into tears. Lyn for a second looked torn between wanting to console Susan and chasing down Karl. In the end her desire to hunt down Karl won and she led the way out of the house leaving me with Susan in the lounge room.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

I Think I'm Getting Old

Or maybe those pc bastards have finally got to me with their insidious ways.

But the Goosebumps episodes I watched last night seemed way more sinister and rapey than I remember them being. Plus I'm also convinced that many of the kids are high functioning schizophrenics ... no doubt a coping mechanism to deal with the sinister adults they find themselves with.

Although the dog people episode did allow me to see the Goosebumps dog, and I am wondering how I ever thought that Sirius Black looked similar when he's Padfoot.



Not exactly similar are they? But an extensive search ... I mean a quick google search did produce this;


It's a little closer to looking like Padfoot than the other dog. But I think I should look a little deeper into this and find the dog I swear exists that looks exactly like Padfoot.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Sooo,



Since DVD's don't show these messages does that mean that we haven't got what we paid for?

Or are we supposed to now listen to the more modern piracy warnings?





Although the second one is alarming and quite possibly the stuff of nightmares, it's not the piracy warning that I grew up watching.

So while it may give me nightmares about demonic pirates who are out to get me, it doesn't convince me that I have indeed got what I paid for. It just puts me on the alert for the pirates who are out to get me.

And the piracy warning about downloading movies being a crime is just plain dumb! Of course I would download a car if I could. The only reason why I haven't yet done so is because I haven't figured out how!

But you can guarantee that once I figure out how it's done, it'll be the first thing I'll do.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Today's Trip to Centre Link

Going to Centre Link just before the big race today was one of the best ideas I've had for awhile; just walked straight in and was almost immediately served. Barely any waiting at all!

Hell in Centre Link customer service terms I basically walked in and straight back out again!

Although that did mean I missed the drama at the Shell servo across the road from the skate park. I don't know what happened. But in the short time between walking past the first time and the second time three fire crews had been called out and thrown dirt all over the ground near the truck that was supplying more petrol. So I don't know if there was just an oil spill or if the spilled oil actually went up in flames ... but three fire crews seem a little like over kill for a run of the mill oil spill at a servo.

Still if it hadn't have been for the fantastic customer service I recieved while at Centre Link I probably wouldn't have even known about the servo incident.

And I'm pretty sure that I can easily find out what happened at Shell.

But I don't know if it's just the Ballarat office or if it's a new Centre Link thing to try and improve the public perception of their customer service, but they're going a little overboard with the door wenches; there were three in Centre Link today. After telling the first two what I was in for, I barely managed to avoid the third one.

I mean on any other day, three door wenches probably isn't enough. But on Melbourne Cup day after lunch I think three might have been a little too many. They were certainly annoying and clearly weren't paying any attention if all three tried finding out what I was there for.

Either that or they were just bored.