My Melbourne Sojourn

This afternoon's little trip to Melbourne really was one of the most exciting one's I've ever had.

V-line didn't help things at all. In fact, thanks to V-line, I was beginning to worry that it was going to be a very so so trip.

That must of been some kind of record for V-line with that epic amount of delays I experienced on the train there; after Ballan, the train had to wait for five minutes before or at every station. Sometimes even both! And then there was the three or four delays between North Melbourne and Southern Cross.

But at least things picked up from there;

I was amused to find an empty bottle of wine and a copy of Women's Weekly in the toilet cubicle once I was the station. Apparently now train station toilet cubicles are the place to have parties. We should remember that for future parties.

Then I unexpectantly ran into a former housemate. Not in the cubicle. I wasn't in the mood for a party. I ran into her at the taps. Both of equally surprised to see the other. Under her eyes were all red, like really red, as though she'd been hit in both eyes ... I wanted to ask her about this, but I felt that a very busy station toilet at peak hour really wasn't the time and the place for what could be very private.

On the tram to the info session that was the whole reason why I was in Melbourne some dude got his arm trapped by the door when the driver opened it. Considering how packed the tram was (the old saying about sardines just doesn't give this tram justice), I'm surprised that only one person ended up trappped. It was made even funnier that it was his stop and the tram driver couldn't figure out how to close the door to free him.

Then my evening dipped a bit. But that's to be expected; they're supposed to be informative. If they're interesting, that's a bonus. But at least the bloke talking to us seemed to have some showmanship, and was able to keep us from falling asleep. He didn't even have any powerpoint presentations ... maybe that's why no one fell asleep during the talk; he interacted with us the whole time instead of hiding behind the powerpoint presentation.

But what really capped the night was what happened on the train ride home;

There was this really lovey dovey couple sitting near me. They appeared to be too old to be showing so much public affection the way they were. So I merely assumed that they're both cheating on their partners.

I was proven wrong.

After an intense kiss with him on his knee in front of her, he leapt to his feet and joyfully shouted, "I'm getting married!"

His attempt to mimick the magic of the movies failed dismally.

No one reacted.

Ok, a few people might have looked up. But nothing more than that ... until he sat down muttering something to his mrs; the guys seated behind him (and next to me) started sniggering. I doubt they were the only ones.

So while they have their crummy memory of the train proposal and the failed attempt at getting some of the magic of the movies, the rest of us have a very humourous memory of that epic fail.

But, seriously, who proposes on a train?

Now that I've stopped laughing at the whole thing, I can't help but wonder who does this?

People who fail to recreate the magic of the movies, that's who!