I Do Not Wish to Alarm You, But ...

I believe that our old childhood fears of the monster under the bed may have been correct.

Yes, I know. Scary isn't it?

But I sense that you don't believe me and want some proof.

Well, unbelievers, I'm watching one of the cats. She's in front of my bedroom door and is really spooked by something in there (and I know it's not some burgular, because I've been home all day).

She keeps getting up, trying to work up the nerve to go in there, but then crouches back down again, trying to hide herself from whatever's in there.

I can hear some of you saying that it could just be one of the other cats spooking her.

It's not another cat! The rest are out in the lounge room with me.

How about another monster, I hear you ask.

That's a reasonable question, because there's quite a few monsters that haunt bedrooms ... actually there's only two; the one under the bed and the one in the wardrobe.

My wardrobe is closed tight, and if it was that monster spooking the cat, then she'd be in my bedroom acting all weird and spooked.

It has to be the monster under my bed.

And if you unbelieverswant further proof, then the cat in question just nerved herself up and went into my bedroom a couple of seconds ago. She jumped about a mile in the air and bolted from my bedroom when she reached my bed.

Proof that the monster under the bed does in fact exist.

Although, I don't know why I'm happy about this.

How am I going to reach my bed without the monster under it getting me? I don't actually trust the frame enough to do a running jump (the only way to avoid getting caught by the monster under the bed).

This is a bit of a dilemma.