Waking Up

There's nothing more disorientating than waking up after thinking "Well, there's no hope of me going to sleep tonight. May as well give up hope."

For me, there's usually no time between that thought and waking up all disorientated.

And it's all just so confusing; I wasn't tired when I thought that, being, in fact, the very opposite of tired. It was dark. Etc etc. You get it.

Then I wake up all groggy and still very tired and it's day light and there are others up already. Etc etc.

I don't think that bloody rooster helps with my just-woken-up confusion. It's constantly adding to the noise.

Cats and Ghosts

So normally I'm pretty cool with the fact that I live in a haunted house. Horry (the resident ghost for those of you who don't know) really isn't all that bad. More annoying than anything.

And certainly not all that effective as a ghost.

Until recently.

Apparently while I was away this weekend, the hauntings in this house stepped up and become a little more real and scary.

And then the Blinky Bill VHS turned up today with the name Charlotte scrawled across the cover in permanent marker. Our general agreement is that that name hasn't always been there. That it's only just been written on there.

So now we have two ghosts ... either that, or Horry is a transvestite, and is a more effective ghost when dressed up as Charlotte.

But this still didn't really disturb me; apart from being a little surprised by the sudden appearance of Charlotte's name on the Blinky Bill VHS, none of this didn't really effect me.

Until tonight.

Yeah, now I have my own effective ghost story ... and the cats totally proved that there was definitely something else besides me and them in the room;

I was watching TV, alone (since everyone else is in bed), and the floor boards behind me creaked like someone was walking.

Sure, sure, it's an old house and these kinds of sounds are to be expected as the house "settles" at night.

But that theory got thrown out the window when both Josie and Leo both reacted as though there was another person in the room with us. I don't know what it was, since I couldn't see it. But they could both see whatever it was that was walking around behind me. They both stared at it, and Leo even warily went up to investigate it closer.

Pretty sure that a "settling" house wouldn't have two cats acting as though there was another person in the room.

Really just hope that the haunting events don't get any more serious than this, though.

The Apocalypse Free Weekend

Saturday 21st May 2011
1:15pm

So apparently I shouldn’t think about things that scare me when I’m tired and susceptible to the workings of my active imagination.

Last night after talking about the Zombie Apocalypse (which still hasn’t happened) and mum’s scary geese that used to chase me, I had dreams filled with apocalyptic zombie geese.

Really not all that cool.

But what’s worse is that the couple of times I woke up, I was just that paranoid that every breath of wind outside sounded like a ghost or something was out to get me … I don’t know why I thought ghosts when it was the apocalyptic zombie geese filling my dreams, but there you go.

I was grateful to wake up this morning and find myself perfectly unattacked by those damn zombies, though. Less grateful about the fact that the Zombie Apocalypse made me so uneasy in the first place. I mean, the whole thing really is just taking the piss out of the crazy fundamentalists. So it really shouldn’t be giving me bad dreams or anything.

And I must also point out that at this time it doesn’t look like the Zombie Apocalypse is going to happen. I mean I haven’t left the house yet or even turned on the TV to watch the news or anything. But I can hear plenty of cars driving around, and zombie lore seems to state that zombies cannot drive. So that and the fact that mum’s neighbours sounded alive and healthy and definitely unzombie like, leads me to believe there is no imminent danger from the Zombie Apocalypse.

But who knows?

It might actually rely upon the soulless bodies of the raptured. So I guess if the rapture hasn’t happened yet, then of course there wouldn’t be any zombies running around … although mum’s neighbours are good little Catholics, and they’re still unraptured. So maybe the fundamentalists got the apocalypse dates wrong … or it’s just not going to happen.

Really can’t say I’m all that surprised about the whole thing really.
This is like the fourth supposed apocalypse in my life time. I’m sure I’m going to live through plenty more.

3:53pm

Well, after that little trip down the street, I’m happy to say that there’s no zombies running around, attacking people. But at the same time, it was eerily quiet down there. The only other times I have seen it so empty is during the Grand Final match in September.

It would appear that while people were in fact raptured, their soulless bodies haven’t been left behind to become zombies.

No Zombie Apocalypse for us.

Probably a good thing considering my complete lack of weaponry here at mum’s. if I’m going to have to face a Zombie Apocalypse, I’d like to do so at dad’s; he at least has some guns and a couple of fantastic zombie proof hiding places I can lay low in for awhile … zombies can’t climb trees can they?

9:53pm

After dinner and drinks at Pippa’s, I can safely report that continued complete lack of Zombie Apocalypse.

I’m pretty certain that there hasn’t even been any kind of rapture event … although that might just be our family; turns out that no one is particularly Christian in the family. Not even Pippa, which surprises me, because she’s all about keeping up appearances … and being a church going Christian would be the perfect way to keep up appearances … I must say that I’m impressed that she’s not Christian.

But there have been other signs of the lack of a rapture event. The most obvious being the lack of empty clothes just lying around everywhere. I’m pretty sure that the council isn’t as competent enough to clean up all of the clothes on the sly without any kind of sign.

Even if the Geelong City Council is competent enough to hide away the clothes of the raptured without anyone noticing, they wouldn’t be able to hide all of the naked bodies floating up towards heaven.

Pretty sure that little spectacle would’ve been noted by at least one person.
So it’s looking like that May 21st 2011 is, in fact, not the end of the world.
Take that, you stupid Christian fundamentalists! Proven wrong once again.

Sunday 22 May 2011
2:33pm

Good news!

I now have a pair of weather appropriate shoes to wear this winter. Thanks to mum and her wonderful birthday gift giving generosity, I now have a pair of brogues (or something along those lines) that won’t soak my feet at the tiniest sign of wet weather.

Huzzah!

Although, on the down side, I can’t wear them when I’m running, since they’re distinctly not running shoes. So I’m still going to have to wear the Volley’s when I run. Even in wet weather.

Blurgh!

But whatever. I guess it’s all good practise for when I eventually join the army.

3:33pm

Damn Megan! Damn her to hell!

Well, actually damning her to hell might be a little drastic. Especially given that I’m not all that annoyed with her … actually not annoyed at her. Just annoyed at what she pointed out.

In the last few years I’ve noticed that I’ve started to stutter a little. It’s especially noticeable when I’m drinking. But I’ve always thought it was in my head, the stutter, so never really gave it much thought.

But the other night Megan called me out on it before we went to mum’s birthday dinner.

I have a stutter noticeable enough for others to call me out on it!

And I don’t even know why I started stuttering in recent years. It’s not like I’m all that highly strung or anything. And it has never been a problem in the past.
So I have no idea what the hell it’s about.

But it’s definitely something I’m going to have to work on.

The Zombie Apocalypse

Ok, so I've been thinking about about the possible upcoming Zombie Apocalypse, and I have a question; Where the hell did the zombies come from?!

All of the fundamentalist Christians who believe the end of the world is so nigh that it's tomorrow all believe that they will be raptured and saved from the shit storm that will be taking place on earth.

That's simple enough to understand. That's basically what every self respecting Christain believes what will take place when the rapture happens.

But some of the crazy fundamentalists seem to also think that there will be a Zombie Apocalypse, which everyone on Twitter has latched onto for shits and giggles.

As I have already asked, where the hell did these zombies of the apocalypse come from?

Are they the souless bodies of the raptured? Is it some sick and twisted joke of the Devil's. Or is it just Jesus being petty and punishing all of the non believers further before the Devil makes his appearance?

It's just that the Zombie Apocalypse comes from nowhere, and has nothing to get the zombie ball rolling.

The May 21st 2011 Rapture

When I first heard about May 21st being the new end of the world date, I was very amused ... and then slightly put out.

Amused, because that's mum's birthday; she gets the dubious honour of being one of the last to celebrate her birthday. Put out, because that means I miss out on my own birthday next week.

But that was just me being selfish. I should be happy for mum and the dubious honour that god has seen fit to bestow upon her.

Although, as good little atheists, we don't believe in God and go to church and all the stuff good little Christians do. So odds are, we won't be raptured.

So tomorrow's possible rapture event isn't all bad news; there'll still be people around to celebrate birthdays with. But who can tell who will be raptured and who won't be? We may have to go out and make new friends with people we would normally prefer to avoid.

And then there's the possibilty that the Zombie Apocolypse rumours are true.

A Zombie Apocalypse would really ruin all birthday plans, and, quite frankly, make life a living hell where no one cares about birthdays ... I'm also concerned about the fact that I don't think I could handle myself and kill enough zombies for me to survive in a Zombie Apocalypse.

But for the time being, there isn't much we can do is hold our breaths and start preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse.

My Melbourne Sojourn

This afternoon's little trip to Melbourne really was one of the most exciting one's I've ever had.

V-line didn't help things at all. In fact, thanks to V-line, I was beginning to worry that it was going to be a very so so trip.

That must of been some kind of record for V-line with that epic amount of delays I experienced on the train there; after Ballan, the train had to wait for five minutes before or at every station. Sometimes even both! And then there was the three or four delays between North Melbourne and Southern Cross.

But at least things picked up from there;

I was amused to find an empty bottle of wine and a copy of Women's Weekly in the toilet cubicle once I was the station. Apparently now train station toilet cubicles are the place to have parties. We should remember that for future parties.

Then I unexpectantly ran into a former housemate. Not in the cubicle. I wasn't in the mood for a party. I ran into her at the taps. Both of equally surprised to see the other. Under her eyes were all red, like really red, as though she'd been hit in both eyes ... I wanted to ask her about this, but I felt that a very busy station toilet at peak hour really wasn't the time and the place for what could be very private.

On the tram to the info session that was the whole reason why I was in Melbourne some dude got his arm trapped by the door when the driver opened it. Considering how packed the tram was (the old saying about sardines just doesn't give this tram justice), I'm surprised that only one person ended up trappped. It was made even funnier that it was his stop and the tram driver couldn't figure out how to close the door to free him.

Then my evening dipped a bit. But that's to be expected; they're supposed to be informative. If they're interesting, that's a bonus. But at least the bloke talking to us seemed to have some showmanship, and was able to keep us from falling asleep. He didn't even have any powerpoint presentations ... maybe that's why no one fell asleep during the talk; he interacted with us the whole time instead of hiding behind the powerpoint presentation.

But what really capped the night was what happened on the train ride home;

There was this really lovey dovey couple sitting near me. They appeared to be too old to be showing so much public affection the way they were. So I merely assumed that they're both cheating on their partners.

I was proven wrong.

After an intense kiss with him on his knee in front of her, he leapt to his feet and joyfully shouted, "I'm getting married!"

His attempt to mimick the magic of the movies failed dismally.

No one reacted.

Ok, a few people might have looked up. But nothing more than that ... until he sat down muttering something to his mrs; the guys seated behind him (and next to me) started sniggering. I doubt they were the only ones.

So while they have their crummy memory of the train proposal and the failed attempt at getting some of the magic of the movies, the rest of us have a very humourous memory of that epic fail.

But, seriously, who proposes on a train?

Now that I've stopped laughing at the whole thing, I can't help but wonder who does this?

People who fail to recreate the magic of the movies, that's who!

Peer Pressure

You should all be proud of me; I didn't cave to peer pressure today.

Hooray me!

*pats self on back*

Maybe you should actually hear what the peer pressure was about before you start congratulating me, because I certainly don't deserve those pats on the back (I assume you also gave me a pat on the back).

Since I want to join the army, I have to have a certain degree of fitness in order to pass the fitness test. So my housemates that they'll help keep keep my morale up by running with me.

That way everyone wins; I have competition and motivation to keep slugging on, and everyone gets fitter and healthier.

So the evening run has very quickly become a ritual in our household.

However, today I just wasn't feeling up to it. My legs were very sore from my legendary effort at the beep test last night and my walk to and from Centrelink this morning. I was also feeling very fatigued.

I decided not to take part in tonight's run.

That was not what my housemate's wanted to hear. They kept at me right up until they walked out the front door with the dogs, constantly asking me why and if I was really sure about not going for the run.

So, it turns out that peer pressure can be a good thing. I was totally facing peer pressure to go for a run tonight, proving that it's not just something awkward teens face when their mates start drinking and doing drugs and all that bad stuff.

Teens have really given peer pressure a bad name.

So by showing my strength of will or whatever, I have shown that I am physically weak and lazy.

Therefore, I leave it up to you to decide if I deserve to be patted on the back or not.

Peace out!

Curse You, Harry Potter!

Yeah, that's right. I said it. I cursed Harry Potter ... and I'll even go one step further:

*shakes fist threateningly at Harry Potter*

Guess I should probably explain why I'm cursing Harry Potter now.

I finally watched The Deathly Hallows pt1 tonight. Because I'm the only Potter fan in the house I had to wait until the boys went to bed before I could put it on.

And because we watched a ton of Battlestar Galactia, it was pretty late when I finally put the Harry Potter DVD on.

Needless to say, it's a long film.

Not sure exactly how long. But long enough to take me to almost 12:30am ... and I'm still not tired.

I should also point out that 12:30am is way past my bed time. Thanks to my good doctor and those pretty awesome sleeping pills, I had actually developed what resembled a healthy, normal sleeping pattern.

Tonight The Deathly Hallows has made absolutely certain that I don't end up in bed asleep at a decent semi-decent time.

So that's why I cursed Harry Potter.