Time to Get Political

Tomorrow Australia will find out if we get a break from the petty squabblings of the Labour Party for a few months or not. Both Gillard and Rudd are claiming that they are the ones who can lead Labour to Victory against Abbot in the next election, which is a complete lie. As long as either of those two is leading the Labour Party, the Liberal Party will win the next election with ease. If Labour is to have any chance of victory a crafty sneaky third bastard needs to put up their hand to run for leadership tomorrow as well.

Who knows, the surprise third candidate might actually be enough to get the votes needed to lead Labour for a few months until the petty squabbling starts up again.

But that's the whole problem with the Labour Leadership, isn't it? They can seem to go a few months before someone gets dissatisfied with his/her lot and starts causing trouble for the party, which then causes the Australian public to lose faith in Labour. Not to mention the annoyance that the people who are supposed to be running this country can't even govern themselves for a few months at a time.

There is a simple way that Labour can avoid all of this trouble and the complete loss of faith that it brings with it; every 18 months or so Labour holds a kind of tournament where anyone who wants to lead Labour can compete.

The events in this tournament will include a few games of Monopoly (to find out how well they can manage finances), Mario Kart Balloon Battles (to see how well they cope under stressful situations), an essay (which will be read by completely neutral judges) about why they think they should be the one to lead Labour, a general knowledge test (we don't want idiots running the country) followed by a round of Dodge Ball (which will be played at 5:30am and may or may not be done so while seriously hungover so that the men can be seperated from the boys, so to speak).

The winner of the Dodge Ball round will automatically go through to the next round, as well as the best performers in general from all of the other tests.

The next, and final round will be a game of Risk. Whoever wins Risk will be the leader of the Labour party for the next 18 months or so.

That should stop all of the childish and petty squabbling over who's turn it is to be in charge.

And remember, Australia, we're not America. We vote for the party not the person.