The Rizzo's Sarmonella Outbreak Is the Work of the Devil Child

So I said that I'd keep an eye on any mysterious happenings around the area just in case the devil child from the train is up to something.

I think that I have noticed something;

It didn't click at the time when I was watching the news. But when I had some time to think about it, the whole affair smacks of the devil child and her evil work.

Rizzo's Pizza (the best pizza joint in Ballarat) made the news because of a sarmonella outbreak just before Christmas. I knew nothing of this until last night when the news report headlined Channel 10 News.

Admittedly, I haven't had Rizzo's Pizza for awhile, and Channel 10 News isn't exactly the most reliable news station around. But I was told that a friend read about it in the newspaper, which I can only assume is a little bit more reliable than 10 News.

Then there's also the fact that I live right around the corner from Rizzo's Pizza.

If this sarmonella outbreak really did happen, you'd think that I would've heard about it sooner than last night.

I don't think that the sarmonella outbreak really happened when they say it did. I think that the devil child has somehow tampered with time and caused this. Fortunately, she doesn't seem to be very good at changing history yet, so people are able to remember the original timeline as well as the new one she's created.

But it's only a matter of time until she gets powerful enough to successfully alter the past and our memories without us being aware of it.

This doesn't bode well.

Devil Child!

On the train home today there was totally a devil child sitting in front of me.

Sure she may have looked like any other innocent small child. But that's just what she wants to to believe.

She wants to lull you into a false sense of security.

And then she attacks!

She had me completely fooled until she looked me right in the eye (through my polarised sunnies) and started to sway in time to the music on my iPod.

At first I thought it might be some kind of bizarre coincidence. So I surreptitiously skipped forward to the next song.

She started swaying in time to that song instead. Only now she was staring at me.

I have no idea what she had in mind, what she was trying to do. I was just very happy that the train pulled into Ballan and the devil child and her family got off. I was also very glad that she was seated in front of me instead of behind. There's no telling what evil she would've wrought if my back was to her. But that being said, I would've very much liked to have been sitting on the opposite end of the train to her.

But now she's Ballan's problem. Not mine. Although I might keep an eye on the local news just to keep track of any mysterious and/or weird happenings in the area. After all, Ballan isn't that far away from Ballarat.

The Smurfs and Their Victimisation of Gargamel

With the new Smurfs movie out in cinemas I had to watch the old cartoons

again. Simply because I wanted to see how much Hollywood ruined the old cartoons.

Turns out that Hollywood can't ruin the old cartoons in any way.

And also, those smurfs aren't quite as innocent and pure and all things good as they'd have you believe. Yeah, they are actually nasty little blue demons whose only purpose in life seems to be to torment Gargamel.

It's not just Gargamel being the nasty evil wizard who just wants to cause trouble and mayhem just because he feels like. He is actually defending himself agains the smurfs, who are more than happy to make him suffer. Even when he's defenseless. Yes, that's right, I'm referring to the incident in the forest where the smurfs have just soundly beaten Gargamel and his cat and trapped him in the tree. Papa smurf then steps forward saying something along the lines how Gargamel isn't sorry yet.

I simply assumed that Gargamel didn't stand a chance against the smurfs because he was fighting them on their home turf in the forest, and that taking the smurfs out of the forest would only help improve Gargamel's chances against them. At the very least, it might take away some of the magic and strength that the smurfs seems to draw from the forest.

But after seeing some clips of the smurfs movie, I very much doubt that Gargamel will at last be vindicated and defeated them. It still looks as though they're still drawing strength from somewhere. Possibly leeching it from all of the unwary people of New York.

Or maybe Papa Smurf has cast some voodoo witch craft spell that manipulates steals all of Gargamel's good luck and/or fortune and Gargamel himself gets stuck with all of the bad luck/fortune.

Whatever those smurfs are doing, it's clearly evil nasty shenaningans that they want to keep secret so that the world hates Gargamel, and won't think anything of it when his body washes up on some remate river bank.

Let's Be Serious

As you're all probably aware, it's cool to blame climate change on man and all of the carbon emissions that our world is emitting. Needless to say that this line of thought is ridiculous and wrong and going to cost us a fortune because the government is trying to do the popular thing by passing the Carbon Tax.

Climate change isn't caused by man and our carbon emissions, people!

What is really the cause behind climate change is witches and their witch craft.

It is a well known fact that witches have altered the weather for their own purposes throughout history. The Church wouldn't lie about something as serious as this. That's why there were all those witch hunts.

And why would witches being doing something as heinous as mess around with the global temperatures, you ask.

Well, it's very simple; witches are pure evil who like to do mean and nasty things just for their own amusement ... and quite possibly because their master, the Devil, told them to.

It's just what witches do.