How About Incentive to Actually Get Work?

Yeah, so. I don't know if you're aware of this little fact or not, but I'm currently enrolled in a pre-employment program that lands me a guaranteed interview at the end of it.

So yay me for that little achievement.

But it's not in Ballarat.

I have to travel to Melbourne every day to get to class.

It's not too bad, even if it is a little costly for someone struggling to live off Centre Link.

But no worries, right? As part of my Centre Link conditions I now have a job employment agency to help me out. And as it turns out, job employment agencies supposedly help people with them with these costs.

So I took myself down to CVGT to see if they'll help me out with my train fares, because that extra $90 is everything when you're only form of income is the pittance Centre Link pays.

Turns out that my employment status isn't urgent enough for CVGT to be able to help me out. As a Stream one person, the government is more than happy to punish me for being unemployed, but won't help me with costs for finding work.

It's as though they secretly want people to remain unemployed for as long as possible. At the moment it feels as though I should just drop out of the course I'm currently in and wait until I'm in a higher stream and am guaranteed the financial assistance that I so desperately need.

The way things are currently, I really can't see any benefit to doing this course if I can't afford to buy food. I feel as though I should just wait until I'm in a more urgent stream before continuing with this course.

I thought the government wanted to lower unemployment, not encourage it.

If they were really serious about lowering it, they would have the lower streams getting the financial aid, instead of waiting for the doll bludgers to reach a really urgent stage of unemployment before handing out financial assistance.

They should be rewarding people who actually go out and actively do things that will help get them a job.

But this would, of course, mean that the government would actually be thinking about something and doing it effectively. And we all know that that's impossible.

At the Movies: Black Swan

After all of the hype surrounding Balck Swan, I was expecting it to be a bit of a let down.

Let's face it, much hyped popular movies are usually never very good and made for stupid, stupid people.

Not Black Swan.

In fact, the hype wasn't really adequate enough. I don't think there's enough hype in the world to adequately prepare a person for Black Swan. There's just so many twists and turns. So forget about trying to predict what's going to happen, because YOU WILL BE WRONG!

It was refreshing to see a movie that was completely unpredictable.

Although, I don't know why people were suggesting Lily (Mila Kunis)was a figment of Nina's (Natalie Portman) imagination.

Lily was real. Nina may have imagined a lot of things, but Lily was certainly not one of them.

But that being said, I think it's very possible that the darker, more twisted Lily who was out to get Nina was a figment of Nina's imagination. A manifestation of Nina's darker side and her desires ... though, Lily could well have been after Nina's role. I'm still unsure about that.

After many twists and turns, Black Swan appeared to be dark, sophisticated horror movie. It had me cringing in horror more than once, and by the end of it I felt much like Nina; unable to trust my own mind and unable trust what I saw.

Black Swan wonderfully portrayed the pyschological breakdown of a person. It had me appreciating my own sanity very early on.

But I'm glad I didn't end up deciding to watch Black Swan when I was home alone over the weekend. I'm pretty sure my housemates would've come home to find me hugging my kness, rocking back and forth on the couch.

Although I think that I need to watch it again and pick up some of the finer points that may have been during last night's viewing.

Damnit, Centre Link

I though that Centre Link was meant to help us poor, struggling, unemployed people.

Ok, ok, they say that. But everyone knows better. Centre Link doesn't help us. It just makes our lives harder, and they give us a pittance for selling our souls to them.

That's the reality.

But Centre Link has made a pretense of actually helping us in the form of advance payments.

However, these advance payments are not all that helpful!

For a start, you can only get one every 12 months. So if you're in a tight spot financially, that bonus $500 is a god send. But what about for the rest of the 12 months after that? What if you run into another tight spot financially?

Well, you can't turn to Centre Link for help if it's been less than 12 months. Even if you have already paid off your previous advance payment debt, which is ridiculous.

If Centre Link really wants to appear like they're helping people out, the advance payments should be available to people as soon as they're previous advance payment debt is paid off. Or at the very least, after six months.

Then maybe people (me included) wouldn't bitch so much about how much help Centre Link doesn't provide.

Routine

Today while walking out of Spencer St Gloria Jeans I was struck by the fact that this pre-employment training has only been happening for a week, and I already have a routine that I don't want to break.

Even if it means an earlier cold start in the mornings.

But it's relaxing get into Melbourne an hour before class starts and spending time in there sipping on my coffee and reading the paper. It's made even better by the fact that by the time I get in, a few people have usually left their papers behind and I get my choice.

I'm so settled in this routine that I was actually kind of lost over the weekend without my Gloria Jeans coffee and paper in the morning.

It's kind of worrying how quickly I settled into that routine.

I've always thought of myself as unpredictable and routineless, Guess I was wrong about that. I guess that everyone needs a routine to get through life.

How depressing.

But that's why people always baulk when there's change to be had. I guess human beings need routine to get through life.

Yeah, It's Definitely Time to be Concerned

I think I have figured out the earthworm's powers and how they're going to take over the land ... or Ballarat at the very least.

I'm pretty sure that these freakishly long earthworms have the ability to control the flow of time. It's important to bear in mind that this might be a power possessed by all earthworms. Not just the Ballarat ons.

I don't really know how they control the flow of time. I just know that they do control it.

Don't believe me?

Well, you're a fool ... but that being said, I'll explain the process behind the statement so that you don't judge me as a crazy person;

Last night (or this morning) I went to bed a couple of hours before sunrise. Being an insoniac who stupidly didn't do any physical activity to wear myself out, it took me a long time to go to sleep even though I was tired as. I was lying there for at least an hour and a half before I started thinking that I should start hearing that damned rooster crowing and seeing the beginnings of sunrise.

But the rooster never crowed (that's got to be a first), and the sun didn't rise.

I know, I know. You're probably thinking that I drifted off to sleepy land at that point.

Well, I didn't.

I don't go to sleep that easily.

I actually lay there for a long time in the dark, hearing no rooster crow, nor any sign of the beginnings of sunrise.

Somehow the earthworms had slowed the flow of time around me!

I don't know why or how.

Although I suspect they have little miny ray guns that they point towards a target. Nor do I know why they would want to slow down the flow of time, unless it were to speed themselves up for an attack on us ...

Oh!

Maybe they were testing out their time ray guns on me to make sure that there were no ill effects to suffer!

Those bastards!

Even though I know it was built out of hate blinded by fear, I think I need to start working on my own version of a Master Mold to deal with these slimey creepy crawlies. That will send them a very clear message that I'm (by which I mean humanity) not to be trifled with

Here's Another Reason

Ok, so after my last blog entry, I have been doing some reading up on earthworms. Mainly because of the blue earthworm picture Google presented to me. And I have decided that there's another reason why we should be worried about the earthworm threat; there's 650 species of earthworms native to Australia. Who knows how many more that have been introduced (I'm sure I could find that out if I bothered researching further).

I don't need to tell you, that's a shit load of earthworms crawling around under our feet.

And yet, no one seems to be worried about them.

Although, I must admit, I'm not sure if I scared of or just intrigued by the Terriswalkeris terraereginae species. They are blue and quite large. And I won't deny that I want to see a real one instead of just a picture of one. But when I see it, I'll probably want to kill the damn thing before it gets me ... something that colour just has to be poisonous.

But after seeing the picture of the blue earthworm, I could help but remember an incident when I was a kid;

I was in the sandpit, digging a whole with the family dog, Minnie. All of a sudden, Minnie froze and stared at something in the whole. Naturally, this piqued my curiosity (and it would probably have the same effect on me now), and I had a look myself.

Inside the whole was a whole lot of brightly coloured earthworms. Not your average, run of the mill pinkish ones. But bright green, and blue and orange ... I'm sure there were a couple of other colours but I can't remember what.

Now, seeing these brightly coloured worms in the sand I did what any kid would do in that situation; I picked them up and put them in the tray of my small trike to keep them safe.

By the time I thought of showing them to mum and dad a couple of days later, they were all dead and tried up (I didn't give them any sand or dirt to live in and it was late spring). Neither mum or dad believed me about the worms colours and I was smart enough to know that the dried up worm carcesses wouldn't prove anything to them (at least I hope I was smart enough to realize that).

All these years whenever I've thought about that little discovery, I always thought that I had imagined it. I mean, I can't even say for sure whether or not I had a sandpit at the farm.

But now, after seeing the Terriswalkeris terraereginae picture, I'm not so sure that the brightly coloured earthworm discovery was imagined. I mean, blue earthworms clearly do exist!

But then the thought of me picking up such brightly coloured things fills me with horror; as I mentioned earlier; something that bright and colourful has to be poisonous. And I touched them!

So, that's just one more reason why earthworms should be feared; they have the ability to mess with a person's mind, and maybe even the ability to poison a person.

A Master Mold to deal with the earthworm problem is looking better and better with each passing minute. Master Mold would teach them to go against the natural order.



Sources
http://scienceblogs.com/zooillogix/2008/05/giant_blue_earthworms_and_frie.php
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earthworm#Australia

Earthworms

I know I've been banged on in the past about how we should fear the inter-dimensional travelling

bunnies, the squid and the monster under the bed, but I think I may have been wrong about them.

Well, actually, maybe not the inter-dimensional travelling bunnies and the squid; they could still pose a significant threat to us. However, I doubt that the monster under the bed is much of a threat to us.

But anyway ...

All of the above pose a threat to a certain degree. But there's something else that could pose a threat to us; earthworms!

Yeah, that's right. Earthworms. Or more precisely, the earthworms indigenous to the Ballarat area ... I don't actually know if it's just a Ballarat earthworm thing or just an earthworm thing in general. All I know is that the Ballarat earthworms seem to be going against the natural order (although that's how I feel about all earthworms).

I just went outside to throw out some trash, and was greeted by the sight of the largest earthworm I've ever seen. It was massive. Not quite Gippsland earthworm size. But it was up there.

Now some of you might be thinking that I may be over reacting to the sight of the massive earthworm at the front door. But you weren't there! You don't know what it's like. You didn't hear it.

Yeah, I could hear it.

I could hear this weird sound as it moved, trying to escape from sight and hide. It made this weird rattling sound each time it pulled its body along the cement ... and to confirm this I actually stayed and watched and listened to it for a few minutes. I wasn't imagining the sound. It was real!

Once I confirmed I wasn't imagining things, this got me to wondering. Mainly what was the earthworm doing at the front door so far from the dirt it's supposed to call home?

My only conclusion: it was trying to get inside the house! And that it heard me coming to the front door and decided to try and hide.

I don't know why it was trying to get inside the house. I can only assume that it wanted to kill every single living thing inside.

Why would it want to do that?

I don't know.

But I think it's time that people took the earthworm threat seriously ... especially so for the good people of Ballarat; the earthworms in Ballarat are definitely larger than your average, and actually makes an audible noise.

It's time people did something about these unnatural beings, just like Senater Kelly and Warren Worthington when they felt threatened by the mutants. I'm not suggesting that we build an AI unit like Master Mold (two simple reasons for that; building AI always backfires when the unit gets smart enough and Master Mold destroyed humanity in its bid to destroy the mutants).

But it's only a matter of time before the earthworms rise en mass and take Ballarat for themselves. Something needs to be done, and soon, or else Ballarat (and quite possibly the rest of Australia) will become the new domain of the earthworm.

No Faith

Today while waiting at least half an hour for the three people in front of me to be served, I couldn't help but notice a sign Centre Link had put up explaining that everyone was in casual clothes because of Casual Friday.

Centre Link, or the people in the Ballarat office at least, really must not have that much faith in the people who receive payments if they felt the need to explain that.

I'm pretty certain that everyone knows about Casual Friday. Even if they are unemployed!

But maybe they've seen enough over the years to realize that maybe most people who receive Centre Link payments will never see the inside of an office building besides their local Centre Link one. Maybe the people in the Ballarat office are just realists.

I don't know.

It doesn't raise a person's spirits while in there though ... and it's already depressing enough in there as it is.

Seriously

Is society forgetting about basic etiquette that's really basic common sense?

I really think so ... and I blame that on the fact that society is just getting stupider and stupider each day.

My biggest gripe about the lack of basic etiquette that's really basic common sense, is that everyone seems to think that the best place to pause and do whatever it is that they have to in the doorway of buildings as they're leaving.

Yeah, stand in the doorway of the supermarket and check your groceries. That's a good idea, because no one else is trying to leave or enter. So don't look so offended when I elbow my way past you as I'm leaving. If you're stupid (and rude) enough to think that the doorway is the perfect place to pause and chat or whatever, then you're too stupid (and rude) not to be elbowed.

I don't care if you're old and decrepit, or your feral kids are playing up, stopping in the doorway is still a very stupid (and rude) thing to do. So stop it immediately.

Then there's those annoying people who push in front of you and then go slow when you're walking. Most of the time, it's easy enough to pass these people, but there seems to be a growing number of people with eyes in the back of their heads and will move whichever you you do when trying to pass them, preventing you from doing so.

Ok, ok, I'll admit that I am impressed with the fact that some people can see out the back of their heads. But not when people are doing it just so that they can walk slowly in front of me and prevent me from passing them. I really should start pulling faces and these people more often. It seems to upset them enough for them to let me pass.

I'm sure that there's more that I could list. But these two issues have been bugging me all week.

Week One of Pre-employment Training

Well, I've successfully managed to survive my first week of pre-employment training. Surprisingly, the crazy early starts hasn't killed me, and I doubt that it will ... althought getting up early in the middle of winter is not at all pleasant.

But what have I learned this week?

The first thing that pops into my mind is that the lifts in the building where the program takes place are really unpleasant to go up and down in; they're like a the Giant Drop at Dreamworld. The unpleasantness isn't helped by the fact that the doors open before the lift stops moving. It's surprisingly alarming to see the floor move as the lift rapidly comes to a halt.

Yeah, the lifts there are not my faveourite ones in the world. In fact, they're probably at the bottom of my faveourite lifts list ... that is, if I actually had such a lift.

What else have I learned this week?

Coffee is an amazing invention, and a total life saver (probably the reason why the crazy early starts haven't killed me).

But if I'm honest, I already knew this about coffee.

I guess I rediscovered this little fact, and could appreciate just how amazing it is.

I also learned that I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!

I should probably explain that ... or should I not, and let you try and figure it out?

Hmmm

Because the two training groups that started this week were both so small, it was decided that the two groups should become one group on the third day. A decision that pleased no one when it was first announced to us ... apparently it was made during the break after both groups did an exercise together. But I reckon that little exercise was done to see how we'd all interact as one group.

Luckily, no dramas arose from the merge. Although the instructor has got to be regretting it, since we all seem to bounce off each other and get really loud. It took less than an hour for us to be labeled the "loud group."

So it would appear that everyone's concerns about the merge were groundless.

Phew! *wipes sweat from forehead*

Then there's my discovery about the Subway on Colins Street; it's not a good place to get lunch from at lunch hour. Today's sub was mediocre at best. It wasn't helped by the fact that they put pizza sauce on it when I specifically asked them not to (I only discovered this when I started to eat it once I was back in the classroom). Definitely won't be going back to that Subway.

But the most surprising thing I learned today is that it is, in fact, possible for a class to be interesting enough to keep me awake when I am so very, very sleep deprived.

In the past, if I only got a few hours sleep (like I did last night), I'd struggle (and usually failed) to stay awake in class.

But not today!

Today the closest I came was feeling lethargic during one of the group exercises. Otherwise, I was wide awake and buzzing. But this can possibly be attributed to the number of large coffees I drank the moment I arrived in Melbourne this morning ... and maybe sniffing the scented textures helped as well (there was a full set of textures with different food scents was lying in the middle of our table. Naturally that meant we had to smell all of them and discuss which ones smelled the best and worst ... the mint one was the definite loser).

So I'd say this week has been a productive one ... at the very least an interesting one. I hope the next four weeks are just as good as this one.

But at the same time, I'm glad my week is over. Now to enjoy the weekend.

FOUR DAY WEEKEND, BIATCHES!!

Pre-employment Training day 1

Well, as the title clearly says, today was day one of my pre-employment training.

After just one day, I personally think that the whole course can be done in 10 days. But that's just me. Maybe it's unrealistic ... but I don't think so.

Although, if the course was condensed down to 10 days, then I don't think there would be time for our campfires ... yeah, my instructor is also a fan of NCIS. There has only been two campfires thus far, but I think that I would really miss them.

And the people in my little training group all seem like nice enough people, which is always a bonus.

But the true high light of day was on the train home; some man went to all this effort of stowing all of his luggage in the overhead storage compartment thingy, before asking me if the seat was free.

I might just be me thinking this, but that seems like the sort of question you ask before you stow away all of your stuff.

I felt like being mean and saying that the seat was, in fact, taken.

But I didn't.

*sigh*

I did notice that this bloke seemed extra keen to be nice; once he was done reading his copy of the MX, he offered it to me to read. I honestly don't know if he was unaware that the MX is free or not. But he seemed determined that his free paper didn't go to waste ... right up til he dropped it under the seats in front us.

Super Germs!

There's one thing that I find really alarming about today's culture of having super clean sparkly, germ free homes;

The fact that none of these super effective cleaning products kill 100% of the germs. Killing only 99% of the germs at best.

That leaves 1% of the germs who have survived the massacre of their communities. And like any kind of organism that goes through something that horrific, this 1% of germs are going to be a hell of a lot stronger than they were previously.

It's basic genetics 101 ... or, survival of the fittest.

So, these super effectively cleaning products are effectively creating super germs! that can't be killed in our homes. And if Fairly Odd Parents has taught us anything, it's that if it's got "super" in front of it, it's some serious bad news for everyone else. As in, make your peace with your Maker kind of bad.

Fairly Odd Parents not a serious enough example of why super germs are bad news? Well, there's always all those super bugs! that now thrive in hospitals.

Those bugs are a perfect example why trying our best to make our homes a germ free place is bad news. That's basically what hopsitals are, and yet there's all these super bugs! trying to infect and kill people, and that are almost impossible to kill themselves.

Is that really what we want in our own homes?

A place that is almost germ free, except for the super germs! that are almost guaranteed to kill you?

I don't know about you, but I think I'd rather live in a slightly germy house. Then that way, I'm not facing super germs!, but regular weak little germs that my body can easily overcome.

Let's face it, getting small, habitual dose of the weak, regular germs makes us stronger and better able to deal with germ related issues down the track ... antibodies, man!

I don't think we'll be so fortunate with the super germs!

Awaiting Tomorrow

I'm all aquiver for tomorrow. It'll be so exciting to go out and start an all new adventure ... oh wait, this isn't like uni or TAFE. This really won't be like setting out and starting a new adventure like uni/TAFE is.

It's better than that.

It's pre-employment training, baby!

And I seriously hope that the guaranteed interview at the end of it lands me a job, because unemployment is starting to suck balls.

I assume that since it's at least a year and a half's work compressed into 20 days, pre-employment training is going to be much better than TAFE. For one thing, there will be less of a chance for me to get bored and then drop out, since new things will most likely be introduced to us like bam, bam, bam!

I should be suffeciently challenged to get through the 20 days.

Although all that stuff compressed down to 20 days is going to make it difficult to just lounge around and not do any work. I seriously doubt that I'll get much of a chance for that ... I'm actually going to have to do work by the looks of it.

But I seriously have no idea what I should wear. Since it's Aegis paying for everything, is this whole set up like some kind of informal promise? Do they expect me to wear business attire to class, since I'm kind of under their employ? Or can I get away with casual wear, since I'll only be studying?

It's all too much to deal with!

Actually, no it's not. It's actually quite simple, really; am I cautious enough to err on the side of caution?

No. No, I'm really not.

Pre-employment Training

So finally not having any qualifications is paying off for me. Who'd have thought that being uneducated would have a great outcome for me?

Not me ... I'm not rich and/or famous enough to be successful without any qualifications.

A company has offered to give me certificates II and III in Customer Contact and Business for free. Not only that, but I'm also guaranteed a job interview at the end of it.

And all I had to do to qualify?

Be an Australian citizen and not have any certificates higher that a Cert II.

Apparently the government doesn't feel the need to improve a person's chances of gaining employment if they were stupid enough to go out to TAFE and get qualifications out of their own accord.

Stupid fools!

Although it seems like a stupid plan on the government's behalf. It's almost as though they don't want people to go out and get themselves educated to improve their chances to get a better job.

It's almost as though they're trying to encourage people to remain ignorant and stupid.

I supppose ignorant and stupid people are easier to control. They basically do what you tell them to without any questions.

That's truly diabolical of them!

But still, I'm pretty pleased with the whole situation myself. 20 days of training and I end up with four qualifications. And I don't have to pay a cent of it.

The (Not at All Totally Cliched Titled) Life and Times of Charlotte

Born in London during the early 1840's, Charlotte was the fourth of six children. She moved to Ballarat, Victoria, Australia in 1853 with her family.

A fairly well off man, Charlotte's father, James, didn't see the wisdom of panning or mining for gold. Instead, he invested the families life savings into running a pub for the prospectors and soldiers.

At first business for James was booming, and the family was able to afford a small too room house to live in, instead of living in a tent amongst the prospectors. This was an improvement for Charlotte who was a sickly child and had been constantly sick since the family moved to Ballarat. Although Charlotte's health never fully recovered, she was no longer bed ridden and able to join the rest of the family when they went for trips around Ballarat.

After almost a year living in Ballarat, things took a turn for the worse for Charlotte's family; during a brawl at his pub, James was brutally murdered, leaving his wife, Emily, to look after the family alone. She had no way of going back to her family in London.

For a couple of months after James' death, Emily was able to live off the money that James had saved from the pub. But once this money ran out, Emily was forced to find employment. As were the older children. Too sick to get paid work, Charlotte was left to look after the younger children while everyone else went out to work.

In this vein the family was able to eke out a mean existance for a few months until Emily was arrested for prostitution. Now completely alone, the rest of the children were also forced to find paid employment.

Because of her poor health, Charlotte was unable to find paid employment, and in an effort to do her share of work resorted to begging on the streets. Many of the soldiers took great pleasure in making her sing before throwing a shilling on the ground for her to chase after.

It was during one of these ordeals that a rich local merchant heard her singing and realized that she had a lovely voice. He immediately took her under his wing and set her up to become a star.

For a short time, Charlotte enjoyed an easy life, her benefactor seeing to her every need, making sure that she never wanted for anything. However, there was a dark motive behind his generosity; he wanted Charlotte for himself. One night he made an advance towards her, which she refused. Angry that she would dare to be so ungrateful after all of his generosity, he raped and murdered Charlotte. He buried her body in an unmarked grave on his estate just outside of Ballarat.

But that wasn't the end of Charlotte. She wanted justice for being murdered, and upon seeing that the authorities weren't going to punish the merchant for murdering her, her spirit rose from the grave and began to haunt his estate.

She took great pleasure in throwing things around the house and smashing any mirrors and glasses that she could see. She would even write messages on his walls, demanding that he hand himself over to the authorities.

Driven mad by the hauntings, the merchant killed himself.

But this didn't appease Charlotte's spirit. Still wanting revenge for her murder, Charlotte still haunts the place where the merchant's estate once stood.