Friday, March 28, 2014

Untitled Short Story

Darkness. 

Silence broken only by the occasional sound of dripping water falling from a great height. 

Something bad had happened. She knew it. Felt it. The ragged breathing she could hear gradually getting louder and louder confirmed it. Then with a jolt she realised that it was her. She was the one breathing raggedly. With another jolt she realised that it was dark because her eyes were closed. She wasn't surprised that she was lying in a pool of ice cold water. For some reason that made sense to her. Even if she couldn't remember why. 

She opened her eyes. It was still dark. She was inside some sort of cavern. For a moment a sense of overwhelming despair and claustrophobia threatened to overwhelm her. She wanted to curl up into a ball and wish everything away. But she knew that wouldn't work. It almost never did, and the few times it had, things had turned very ugly. If she wanted to get out of this she would have to do more than wish to do so. She held up her hands. Good. The worzt hazn't happened. She slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position, wincing in pain. At leazt I don't think the worzt haz happened. 

She looked around the cavern, hoping to remember what she was doing in there. Her vision was a little blurry, and she had a splitting headache. She suspected that someone had struck her on the head at some point. That blow iz probably why I waz unconzciouz. Or maybe thiz contributed. She had an arrow sticking out of her right shoulder, which had been bleeding heavily, although it had stopped now. She really wanted to remove the arrow, but knew that it would be wiser to wait until there was a healer present just in case the wound continued to bleed heavily. 

There were two long knives lying in the pool of water next to her. She picked one of them up, her eye straying to the edge of the pool as she did so. Oh shit! She scooped up the second knife and tried leaping to her feet. But she was too beaten up for that. Instead she gasped as pain shot through her body and she crouched down, knives held expertly at the ready as she looked around the cavern again. This time she saw the bodies strewn everywhere. She drummed her fingers nervously on the hilt of the knives, surveying the scene. There was a number of large blue furred creatures she knew to be vicious, blood thirsty monsters. But there were also a number of human bodies strewn throughout the chamber. Which side am I on?

She looked down at her hands again. They looked unmarked. Looked unshackled. But she knew through past experience that this wasn't always an indicator. Tezt? Or ... She looked around at the bodies of the blue furred creatures again. Do they know how to kill thoze thingz? She straightened up, bouncing anxiously on the balls of her feet. They've got to know how to kill thoze thingz. Otherwize the war would be over! She looked a little more closely at the human bodies. None of them appeared to be Fredono or The Guard. She looked down at her clothes. She wasn't in uniform. But again, past experience told her that this wasn't an indicator. She noticed for the first time she noticed that she was wearing a dark grey cloak with a jade dragon pinning it around her throat. She instantly recognised the cloak as one of the family heirlooms. Guezz that anzwerz that. 

She looked around the cavern again. Butbutbutbut. She squeezed her eyes shut and tapped the side of her head. Something wasn't adding up. She looked down at the jade dragon pendant, tapping the side of her head harder and harder. No! Thiz izn't right. The air was starting to get thick, making breathing difficult. I have to get out of here!
She was just about to turn to look for an escape when she heard people approaching from behind. She gasped involuntarily, and bounded across the pool and ducked behind a rocky outcrop, this time prepared for the pain caused from her movement. Her mind racing, she peered out from behind the rock. Hopefully I'll recognize them. Then I can figure out which side I'm on bazed on how they react. It wasn't much of a plan, but it was the best she could come up with. Her headache was starting to get really bad, that it was starting to distract her. 

Urgh! I can't fight like thiz! She bounded up onto the rock she'd been hiding behind just as five figures entered the cavern.

"There!"

 Shit! She half jumped, half toppled off the rock. She rolled, forgetting about the arrow sticking out of her shoulder until it snagged on the ground. Growling in pain and annoyance, she sprang to her feet. Her hand subconsciously rising to her injured shoulder. She was alarmed to feel warm blood seeping through her fingers. There was a blinding flash of light. Her other hand rose to shield her eyes against the sudden glare. I've lozt. 

"What happened here?" A voice she recognised as her former fiery mentor asked in a hushed voice. 

"Ummm ..." Her eyes now accustomed to the brightness of the glowing ball of flames hovering a couple of meters above the pool of light, she looked around at the carnage. The blue fur of the monsters appeared to be glowing in the light. "Do, d'ya know how to kill thoze thingz?"

"Perziztanze and a whole lot of luck. Why?" This was asked with a lot of suspicion. 

They don't truzt me. But why? She mulled over the possible reasons, completely forgetting about the others in the cavern until a soft voice brought her back to reality. 

"She appearz to be muddled."

That doezn't sound like good news for me. "No. Why. Ya wanted to know why, right?" She smiled nervously at the group. "There'z an eazy way to kill thoze beaztz that you guys don't seem to know about." She staggered slightly, and only prevented herself from falling over by catching at the rock she'd just fallen off. The cavern span dizzingly around her, and she struggled to fight against the darkness that was threatening to overtake her again. 

"We don't have time to put up with gamez." A broad man with a heavily scarred face snapped. "What happened here, Skip?"

"Well, um." She stopped leaning against the rock and scratched at her head, stalling for time while she tried to find a suitable answer to the question. The problem was, she still wasn't sure what a suitable answer was, or even what had happened. She was certain that telling them that she couldn't remember what had happened was wise. It would most likely end with her being captured and interrogated further in one of their bases. She was dimly aware of the cavern swirling gradually into darkness and a sharp pain in her knee as the nothingness that she'd been trying to keep at bay finally overtook her. She had one last, bleary glimpse of five people hurrying towards her as she blacked out completely. 

Monday, January 6, 2014

Budget Direct and Earth Dollars

Yeah, ok, so I don't know why I keep focusing on these Budget Direct ads. They're terrible and should really be ignored instead of getting free publicity (even the minuscule amount I'm giving them with this is too much) like this. But I'm sleep deprived and I've caught onto something that I just can't let go of. 

Just watch this ad:


Did you pick up on the bit about "earth dollars"? 

It's actually pretty insignificant really. After all, this ad could be set in the future where there's a one world government and currency, we live side by side with ET's and Budget Direct is the insurance company of the future.  

Plenty of possible explanations for that whole "earth dollars" comment. 

Now watch this ad:


Did you hear it? Did you hear that the aliens and Budget Direct are in Australia?

That means that those "earth dollars" that were mentioned in the earlier ad are actually Australian dollars!

And suddenly these ads are a lot more interesting. Is Budget Direct implying that Australia is about to take over the world with the aid of our alien allies (why else would there be ET's living peacefully side by side with us in the suburbs)? Or is it that the one world government simply decided that the Australian currency was the best currency to adopt for the whole world to use? Or is Budget Direct actually run by aliens (and the ones we see in the ads are actually real instead of CG) who haven't realised (for whatever reason) that the there are probably better and stronger currencies to use than the Australian dollar (but then, I'm not an economist. I don't really know or care about these kinds of things)? 

Whatever the case, Budget Direct is still setting itself up as the insurance company of the future.